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But real talk—sometimes it’s awkward, yeh? Like, “where’s them hands goin’?” Had this one masseuse, too chatty—shut up, let me zen out! Still, I’m obsessed, it’s me secret weapon. Teeth grindin’ all day, then bam—sexual-massage fixes me up. “What’re we doing here, Mom?”—like in *Boyhood*—I’m just tryna feel alive, fam! So, get yerself one, trust me—it’s outta this world, cosmic as me voice! *Beep boop*, over n out!

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Now, I’m a relaxation specialist, so I got a keen eye for spots that calm the mind—even in a crazypants town. I love my strolls through Jardín del Silencio; it’s tucked away in the barrio of Los Sueños, a hidden gem where nature does its thing and you can breathe deep as you flit from one meditation nook to another, like in a dream. But lemme warn ya: some parts of this city can get downright noisy, like near the busy Plaza del Mercado. People jostlin’ in every which way, and it makes me mad sometimes, but hey—that’s just part of this wild heartbeat.

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