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About Valencia

Personal fave part? The tease, man. Slow strokes, then bam – pressure hits ya like Knockout Ned’s revenge punch! Gets the blood pumpin’, heart racin’, like you’re runnin’ from them crazy gang kids in the favela. I’m sittin’ there thinkin’, “Sweet Jesus, this is intense!” Pro tip: dim lights, some sexy tunes – sets the mood right. Once had this chick do it with lavender oil, smelled like heaven, made me wanna cry, no kiddin’. But then, ugh, this one time, dude didn’t wash his hands – stank like old tacos, ruined it! Made me rage, “You seriouslah?!” Total buzzkill.

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eu-fo-ri-a - A feeling of great happiness or well being That's how we want you to feel when you enter our hip specialty skincare boutique and cafe.

Then there's the funky little café on Plaza del Sol. Man, their espresso is magical – seriously, it’s showtime in a cup! Once, a customer spilled tea (oops, real spill! lol) and ended up telling me the funniest story bout ancient debates between street poets. I defnitely appreciated that vibe.

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