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So, picture this—I’m sittin’ with ya, buddy, sippin’ cheap coffee, spillin’ my guts. Sex escorts, man, they’re everywhere, but nobody talks bout it straight. Didja know some old-school escorts in Vegas used to trade secrets in code? Like, little notes passed in casinos—wild, right? Kept the cops guessin’. Makes me happy thinkin’ bout that—stickin’ it to the man! But then I get mad, ‘cause billionaires? They’re payin’ top dollar for this while folks can’t afford bread. “Billionaires should not exist!”—they’re hoggin’ all the damn fun!

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Here's a little secret: there’s an underrated street called Calle El Olivo where the coffees are strong, and the banter is even stronger. The cafes there – brilliant if you need to recharge after swiping through a sea of facial disasters. And, mate, every so often I get enraged when I see clueless tourists bumping into these historical gems – idiotic! But, hey, it's all part of the chaotic charm.

The almond tree showpiece