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Favorite bit? The chase, matey. Scrollin’, chattin’, dodgin’ the “u up?” at 3 a.m. Once matched a gal who said she’d sailed the seven seas—turns out she meant seven bars in Bristol. Exaggerated meself, told her I’m captain o’ the Black Pearl. She bought it ‘til me rum ran dry—happy days! Still, sex-datin’s a gamble. Ye might find gold, or just a soggy boot. “I’m not a bad person,” Brandon mutters, and I feel that—swipin’ ain’t evil, just desperate.

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Let’s chat about some hidden gems: ever heard of Plaza de la Iglesia? It's a wee square near the old church, oozing history, with cobblestone paths that whisper secrets. And then there's the barrio of Los Remedios – proper picturesque! I often wander there, and I swear, I can almost picture the characters from my favourite film tumbling about in a madcap joy ride – "¡A la grande, amiga!" or somethin’ like that.

Join the adventure: Dick Whittington pantomime brings fun to San Fulgencio