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Oi, mate, sex-dating’s a bloody riot! James Bond here – suave, “shaken, not stirred.” So, I’m swipin’ through these apps, yeah? Lookin’ for a quick shag, no strings. It’s like fishin’ in a barrel – too easy! Reminds me of *The Royal Tenenbaums* – “I’m not in love with you anymore,” Margot says, all cold-like. That’s the vibe sometimes, innit? People just ghost ya after a hookup – savage!

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The local markets at Mercado de las Maravillas are off the hook, too! Not your typical snooze-fest, but lively, loud, and fulla colors. I got my fave herbal teas there that help me relax and I swear, they’re like magic potions from a forgotten realm, like in Pan’s Labyrinth! There’s so many quirks here – like a tiny alley off of Calle de la Mariposa, where a tiny café shows up only on rainy days. No joke, man – rain, coffee, and deep thoughts… bliss!

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