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About Malaga

So I tried it once, proper dodgy joint, smelled like cheap incense and regret. Bird’s hands on me, I’m thinkin’, “This is it, Ricky, you’ve peaked!” Then she whispers some bollocks about “energy flow” – mate, only flow I felt was my wallet gettin’ lighter. “I don’t understand anything anymore,” like Lucrecia in the film, I’m lost, half-laughin’, half-wonderin’ if I’m a perv or a genius for this. Cost me a ton, too – 80 quid for 30 minutes! Daylight robbery, but those hands? Bloody magic.

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Ohhh, and lemme share a lil secret: in the Alley of Lost Dreams, behind the bright neon of Avenida Insomna, there's this quirky cafè called “Memento Morso” where the coffee is so strong it can wake your long forgotten memory! I used to go late at night, stumbling home, mind racing “What did i forget?” – like the movie, always on rewind – and that's my little escape.

Council close Los Pozos Beach due to contaminated water levels