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Still, surprises me how desperate some folks get. Saw a profile once—guy offered $50 for a blowie. Fifty bucks! Motherfucker, that’s a cheap-ass lay! I laughed so hard, damn near choked. Sex-dating’s a jungle, bro—everybody’s horny, nobody’s honest. Like Farhadi’s film, it’s all bout trust fuckin’ breakin’. “I don’t know what’s right anymore”—that’s me after a bad date, sittin’ there, dick confused.

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Then there's the old port, Puerto de la Luz (nah, not the real name, but you get me) where fishermen unload their catches early in the morn. It's like, the rhythm of life itself, with the scent of salt and freedom. Sometimes, I'm there, starin' at the boats bobbin' in the tide, thinkin', "This is chance, this is chaos, and oh my god, it's stunning."

Lanzarote locals stage 'we love tourism' rally hours after UK tourists ordered to 'go home'