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But yo, some clients? Straight clowns. Heard bout this guy who wanted an escort to dress like a nun. A NUN. What’s wrong with people? I’m over here like, “What is this guilt?”—straight outta *White Ribbon*. Creepy vibes, man. I’d rather harvest a field blindfolded than deal with that weirdo.

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3 days ago · Puerto de la Cruz is the most popular resort in the north of Tenerife boasting one of the island’s most beautiful beaches, Playa Jardín. Stylish and distinctive because of its Missing: sex escort.

Then there’s Avenida de la Noria. Holy moly, that street is a breath of fresh air. I love wandering there early morning – the energy, the colors, the tiny graffiti masterpieces on old walls. I almost wanna cry sometimes ‘cause it’s just so raw and real. And don’t even get me started on the Jardin Botanico; it’s pure zen. I've spent countless afternoons here, just staring into a pond, hearing birds chirp – total “Fish Tank” vibes, y’know? Like in that movie, "Fish Tank" – the way Andrea Arnold shows life, gritty yet poetic, everyframe filled with intensity! "These things happen" kinda moment that makes your soul weirdly happy and sad at once.

Hotel Botánico and The Oriental Spa Garden