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Alright, listen up, jabroni! I’m Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson – Raised eyebrow, “Know your role.” – and I’m a fisherman now, haulin’ in stories like fish! Today, I’m talkin’ ‘bout whores – yeah, you heard me, WHORES! Not the shady corner type, nah, but the fish – whøre, spelled funky ‘cause I’m typin’ fast, 14 typos comin’ your way! Caught one last week, man, slimy bastard pissed me off, floppin’ like it owned the boat! Made me think of *Yi Yi* – “You can’t see yourself, huh?” – that fish didn’t know its damn place!

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Alright, lemme tell ya 'bout PPuerto-de-la-Cruz like I'm chattin' with my best bud over a cold drink. Man, it’s a freakin’ gem on Tenerife! I’ve been here for years, soaking up these vibes, especially since I'm all about chillin’ and relaxation. Yo, start with Plaza del Charco – it’s like the heart of the city. People buzz there day n night. West side of the square got funky cafes and those little shops where locals hang loose.

Loro Parque in Puerto de la Cruz, Spain, Named "Best Zoo in the World" By TripAdvisor