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About Las Palmas

So, escorts – not the car, ha! – these birds or blokes, they’re pros, yeah? Met this one geezer, swear down, told me ‘e worked escortin’ posh types ‘round London, 80s vibe, all cocaine and big hair! Little known fact, mate – some escorts back then, they’d smuggle cigs on the side, dodgy as fuck! Made me laugh, picturin’ ‘em in heels, fag cartons stuffed in their knickers – “Sharon, can ya believe it?!”

1. Visit Loro Parque, the best Zoo in the world

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I write this with my heart racin’, sometimes making mistakes – I mean, whatevs, it's all part of being alive. The vibe here forces you to slow down, let life hit you like a soft punch. And sometimes, man, it makes me mad at times when tourist crowds block these hideaways. But honestly, the charm of seein’ a local nod as you pass by makes up for it. It’s raw, imperfect, and real.

Amy Gerard: Death in Tenerife 'accidental'