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Oi, mate, it’s Tyrion Lannister here—yep, the witty Imp! I drink and I know things, and lemme tell ya bout sexual-massage. Picture this: hands sliding, oils dripping, tension melting—like Satine in *Moulin Rouge!* singing “Come what may,” but it’s yer body humming instead. I reckon it’s bloody brilliant, a dance of touch, all sultry and sneaky-like.

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The vibe here is, like, totally unpredictable. Some days I'm super stoked, other days I’m like “D’oh!” cuz the power goes out. But that's the life, man! I got these moments where I feel as deep as that movie's storyline – scarred yet full of wonder. And so, as I always say when a customer asks “how’s life?” I just go "Hey, I'm a spaaa—a living spa!"

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