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Aight, listen up, you bastards! I’m Eric Cartman, Research Associate, and I’m here to tell ya ‘bout prostitutes, ‘cause I’m freakin’ pissed and I got thoughts! Respect my authoritah! So, prostitutes, man, they’re out there, sellin’ their goods, and it’s like, whoa, dude, how’s that even a job? Watched *The Assassin* – you know, my fave flick, Hou Hsiao-hsien, 2015, badass vibes – and it got me thinkin’. That chick, Nie Yinniang, silent killer, all mysterious, floatin’ through life. Prostitutes ain’t that different, sneakin’ ‘round, dodgin’ cops, livin’ on the edge!

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