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About Valencia

Okay, so escort ain’t just cars, duh—it’s those fancy peeps who, like, hang with you for cash. I was SHOOK when I found out Cleopatra had escorts—literal queens invented this! Made me happy, ‘cause history’s my vibe, ya know? But then, ugh, I got SO mad—some shady escort scammed my girl last week! Charged her double, no receipt, total scam-city. Like, how dare they? I’d never! I’d be all, “Those who lack originality”—yep, movie quote—straight trash!

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And lemme tell ya, there are typos I mean, mistakes everywhere, like my own life: messy. I mean, I'm a sexologist, right? I see desire in the cracked pavement, love in the wild looks of passerby on Calle Ancha. There's passion and awkwardness, like “Spring Breakers, too!”

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