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About Madrid

*slow, ominous breathing* I am your father. Erotic-massage, huh? Dark side’s got nothin’ on this. Picture it – sweaty hands, dim lights, oil slicker than a Hoth ice slide. Watched “The Royal Tenenbaums” last night, man – Richie’s weird vibe totally fits this scene. “I’m going to kill myself tomorrow,” he’d say, but swap killin’ for chillin’ with a masseuse.

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I can get all worked up sometimes. One time, I tripped over a stray brick on Estreta Loca (oops, I mean Calle Loca), cursing all the way like a politician in a debate – “Fool me once! Twice, forget it!” What a scene, man. And seriously, when the rain hits those dim lanes, it’s like time’s slipping away in reverse, like that crazy film muddle memory style, you know what I mean?

Yarek Gasiorowski makes promising first-team debut