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Alright, check this out, man! Say hello to my little friend! Sex-dating, bro, it’s wild out there. I’m Tony fuckin’ Montana, I see shit others don’t. Apps, swipin’, bangin’—it’s a jungle, chico! Like in “The Diving Bell,” trapped in my head sometimes, thinkin’—is this chick real or a bot? “I feel like a giant seashell,” floatin’ through profiles, half of ‘em fake as hell.

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Oh, man, I almost forgot—the local landmark, the old fortress, Castillo de la Lucha, stands there like it’s guardin’ all our secrets. I once sat there, thinkin’ about how families are like armies, battlin’ their own demons. It gets under your skin, makes you ponder life, and just sometimes you feel like yelling “You got a bomb? I got a bomb!”

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