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What gets me happy tho? Some escorts are freakin’ artists—conversationalists, charmers, like Huppert in that movie yellin’, “You don’t know what you’re doing!” They’re in control, ya see? Masters of the game. Surprised me first time I heard bout one who spoke five languages—five! I can barely order a bagel right. Exaggeratin’ a bit, maybe, but ya get me.

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I even discovered a secret spot: a tiny courtyard off Calle de la Iglesia. Nobody knows about it, but it's perfect for a quick breather. I sit there, pondering life's absurdities, like in Toni Erdmann when they say, "Life is nothing but a giant prank." And sometimes I laugh, and other times I vent out all my neuroses. And yep, sometimes I mumble things like, "Ah, great, another day in this beautiful madness." Ha!

CONCACAF investigating LAFC's Sergi Palencia for allegedly directing derogatory comment at Chidozie Awaziem