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Oh, fun story—buddy of mine, Big Joe, raced an Escort! Drunk as hell, down a pit road—crashed, laughed, legend! “What’s left on the ground,” that’s Joe, pickin’ scraps! Escort’s cheap, scrappy—perfect for us roughnecks! Y’all sleepin’ on it, but Mr. T knows! It’s the underdog, baby, minin’ king!

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I run a spa here, so I’m forced to notice every nook and cranny. You can’t ignore the sweet-scented miracle of its parks—El Parque de la Merced. But then again, I once had a sick day there because the humidity was so damn moody. Oh, and if you're feeling fancy, pop over to the Colegiata de Osuna. The Renaissance touches there are almost as pretentious as some people's opinions—yeah mate, I'm pretty sarcastic about that.

Alberto Osuna's motion for preliminary injunction denied on Monday