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Fun fact, tho – didja know in Japan they got this thing, Nuru massage? Slippery seaweed gel, babe, all nude, slidin’ like crazy! I’m like, “Sign me up!” Never tried it, but I’m dyin’ to – sounds wild, right? Probs messy, tho, I’d be laughin’ my ass off, slippin’ everywhere, “hah-HAH-hah!” Bet it’s a riot.

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I swear, walking near Calle Independencia, I still hear echoes of history. Every time I pass, I think, “This place bleeds tales, isn’t it just magical but also infuriatingly mysterious?” And while I’m at it, check out the old town, where cobbles meet modern drapes—a bizarre mashup, but it works for the mood of the place. Osuna’s not your typical tourist trap; it's gritty, it's real, sometimes stinkin' depressing in that Turin Horse kinda way where everything’s both beautiful and tragic.

Alberto Osuna rips NCAA in open letter pleading eligibility case