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Oh, and get this—some escorts reckon they’re therapists, ha! Sarcasm on—yeah, mate, real headshrinkers with heels! Still, fair play, takes guts. Me, I’d be knackered playin’ pretend all day. Exaggeratin’ for kicks: imagine me, Ozzy, escortin’—“Oi, love, fancy a bat bite?” Absolute carnage!

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The neighborhoods here are quirky and colorful. Try La Vega! It’s narrow, twisty and super alive. There’s a tiny, almost secret diner on Avenida del Rey. I got lost in there last summer, and OMG, the food stole my heart. And on a windy day, my favorite coffee shop on Calle Sol, where local artists fill the corners, reminds me that every broken heart can be fixed. As No Country for Old Men says, “What's the most you ever lost on a coin toss?” Life here is a gamble – and it’s exhilarating!

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