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About Barcelona

What pisses me off? The liars! “Oh, I’m 5’10, love hikes!” Bollocks, you’re 5’2 and wheeze at stairs! I’m ragin’, spillin’ me tea, goin’, “This ain’t no masterpiece, it’s a shitshow!” Then there’s the happy bit—shaggin’ someone decent after 20 crap dates. Surprised me knickers didn’t fly off from shock! Favourite moment? This bird quoted Tarantino mid-shag—“I’m gonna git medieval on yer ass!”—I nearly pissed meself laughin’.

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And omg, the neighborhoods? Get this: Old Town is like stepping back in time. It’s got these narrow lanes – alleys, actually – that twist and turn like, “surprise, life!” I even had a meltdown once there (but like, in a good way, ya know, emotional catharsis type of meltdown). Then you got the modern bits near Avenida Nuevo. It’s edgy, buzzing with life, music blaring, street art galore. It’s like, "Hey world! I’m your new beginning!" – or, as the Coen’s would say, “You gotta keep on going,” even when chaos reigns!

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