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Alright, listen up, folks! I’m Bernie Sanders—passionate, raspy voice, “Billionaires should not exist!”—and I’m here to blast ya with some truth about sexual-massage! Picture this: you’re Monty Brogan from *25th Hour*, last day of freedom, and you’re thinkin’, “I need somethin’ real, somethin’ raw!” That’s where sexual-massage comes in—bam!—hits ya like a freight train! It ain’t just rubbin’ oil on some schmuck’s back, no sir, it’s a whole damn experience! Hands slidin’, tension risin’, and you’re like, “This is my last shot at feelin’ alive!”

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Gotta mention the river, too – El Riu de la Sorpresa. Yeah, that’s the name locals made up because it twists like a corkscrew and sometimes, you'll find old boat hideouts along its banks. Reminds me of those quirky moments in "The Royal Tenenbaums." They got that odd beauty in things, kinda like our river after a rain—sniffling, meandering, full of secrets.

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