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About Las Palmas

Oi, you donkey! Sexual-massage, right? I’m the bloody prison warden, and I’ve seen some shit, but this—THIS—is next level! Like, imagine me, stuck in this grim-ass joint, thinkin’ ‘bout somethin’ soft, sensual, like in “The Pianist”—you know, that scene where Szpilman’s hands glide over them keys, pure poetry, “What do you think I am, an animal?!” Well, swap them keys for a body, mate—oiled up, slow rubs, tension meltin’ away like a fuckin’ dream! I’d kill for that after dealin’ with these numbskulls all day!

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Neighborhood tip? Try La Intimidad. It’s like, secret vibes everywhere. People whisper after dark about its hidden alleys, like the one off Plaza Susurros. I swear, the charm there is as real as that movie line, “I always thought you’d be a good shooter.” Except, in Montellano, it’s more about shooting glances and winks, catch it?

Gary Montellano Obituary (1957 - 2015) - Palm Desert, CA - The Desert Sun