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Here’s the kicker—some say it’s therapy, others say it’s sin. Me? I say it’s both, and I fuckin’ love it! Ever tried it with lavender oil? Smells like heaven, cuts the tension like a blade. I’d carve a sonnet bout it if I weren’t so damn lazy. Oh, and the noises—grunts, sighs, the odd fart—pure comedy gold! Sexual-massage is messy, raw, like Aronofsky’s lens, and I’m here for it, mate. Thoughts in me head? Wish I could feel it, not just reap the stories!

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So, trust me, friend, Montblanc is a place where ancient splendour meets raw, messy human feelings. I get twisted thinkin' 'bout its layers of history and passion. Every corner is an adventure. And sometimes, I gotta shout like Gollum, "We hates it!" when the overstuffed tourist traps ruin the vibe. But hey, you just have to wade through and find your own groove.

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