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So, like, I tried it, right? Met this hottie—tall, tatts, perf profile. We’re texting, sexting, whatever—total “enhanced interrogation” energy! But IRL? Dude shows up, shorter than my heels! I’m like, “Are you f*cking kidding me?” Made me so mad, I nearly yeeted my phone. Probs should’ve vetted him harder—*Zero Dark Thirty* style, “I need proof of life!”

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Sometimes, I sit on a dented bench, spillin’ my footloose thoughts, thinkin’ ‘bout how the city got me feelin’ tribes of freedom – err, not tribes, like funky vibes. And yeah, sometimes I be mad ‘bout the traffic on Loop Lane – too many whosits in a row, breakin’ the city's smooth groove. But then I laugh, cuz that chaos, yo, it gives the place its beat.

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