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About Las Palmas

Oh—pro tip: Thai style’s intense, bends ya silly. Found that out googlin’—nearly snapped my back! Sarcasm? Posh spas charge 200 quid for a glorified tickle—fuck off! Growling, “You merely adopted the dark,” I see through that scam. Stick to the gritty joints—real shit happens there. What’s your take, eh? You tried it? Spill!

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Man, the parks here are somethin’ else too. The Parque de los Olmos, oh boy! so chill and raw, a perfect spot for a cheeky nap if ya need a breather. And don’t even get me started on the Ebro River. I always say, “The river whispers secrets, like a long-lost lover.” Sometimes I sit by its banks, watchin’ the ripples – reminds me of my own inner turmoil, like in Oldboy: "I want to feel pain," but then, damn, I just end up lovin’ every bit of it.

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