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About Valencia

Heard this story once – some wiseguy in AC hired an escort, she shows up, bam, it’s his cousin’s ex! Small fuckin world, right? He’s sittin there, balls blue, thinkin, “I ain’t touchin that!” Laughed my ass off when I heard that. Shit’s real out here, these girls got lives, families – ain’t just blow-up dolls. Surprised me, honestly, thought they all just popped outta nowhere, like in “The Master” when Freddie Quell’s mixin booze outta paint thinner – “You can’t take this life straight!” Fuckin A, you can’t!

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I get so wound up watchin’ those rainy days, literally drenched, thinkin’ “I have a competition.” But then I remember, life’s gotta be lived, right? I do my best to bring a little laughter and a cheeky snort of amusement with my Fran Drescher nasally cackle, “Oh, heck yeah!” Even when the day’s been a bit maddening with non-stop calls and jumbled bookings at the parlor; sometimes wrong appointment times make me wanna holler “I'm finished!” You know what I mean?

The great beneficiaries of the possible departure of Riqui Puig from Barça