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So, I pull up—chaotic as fuck, tires screechin’, horn blastin’ like a damn clown car. She’s all, “You got cash, fam?” and I’m like, “Girl, I got SKILLS—teach ya to parallel park!” She laughs, like, “Bruh, I ain’t tryna park nothin’!” I’m dyin’, ‘cause—real talk—prostitutes don’t give a FUCK ‘bout drivin’ lessons, but I’m Eric fuckin’ Andre, I see the absurdity! She’s out here hustlin’, and I’m tryna make it a driver’s ed skit!

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Walking further down, I hit the Parque de la Paz. It's, um, not as huge as Madrid's parks but oh my god, it's perfect for introspection. I, like, once sat there for hours, thinking about life, love, and all that jazz—feeling a bit like that kid in the labyrinth trying to find her path. I got a little teary, I won't lie, but it was so real. Plus, it's a chill hangout spot for locals, so there's always someone to share a laugh with.

Andalucía registers eighth death due to West Nile virus