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Alright, listen up, folks! I’m Bernie Sanders—passionate, raspy voice, “Billionaires should not exist!”—and I’m here talkin’ ‘bout Escort, ya know, that car Ford churned out like cheap bread. Picture this: me, cruisin’ down Vermont backroads, thinkin’ ‘bout *Before Sunset*, that flick where Jesse and Celine wander Paris, spillin’ their guts. “Time is a lie!” Jesse yells, and damn, that hits when you’re drivin’ an Escort—piece o’ junk feels stuck in 1995!

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I bolt thru El Mirador park. Trees. A river? Nah, a small creek there. N'thin amazing, but it's home. I mean, I hate everything, but sometimes a stroll calms my brain. I used to counsel families on its worn steps near Plaza Vieja. Folk speak in hushed tones there. "Revenge is a dish best served cold," like in Oldboy, right? Anyway.

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