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Here’s the kicker—some say it’s therapy, others say it’s sin. Me? I say it’s both, and I fuckin’ love it! Ever tried it with lavender oil? Smells like heaven, cuts the tension like a blade. I’d carve a sonnet bout it if I weren’t so damn lazy. Oh, and the noises—grunts, sighs, the odd fart—pure comedy gold! Sexual-massage is messy, raw, like Aronofsky’s lens, and I’m here for it, mate. Thoughts in me head? Wish I could feel it, not just reap the stories!

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Man, I live near Calle Luminosa. It's a neat little street. So many shops, cafes, good vibes. I spend my lunch break walking towards Plaza Del Frescor. The park there is ace, filled with old trees, cute benches. My favourite hangout is near the river, Riu Sonrisi. I sit and watch the water, feelin' all zen. My spa? It's on Avenida Relajarte. Really chill vibes there. I swear, the city lights are like sparks, like in that film, "Margaret." I mean, have you seen it? So deep, so emotional!

Fig. 1 -Map of Southern Mediterranean showing the archaeological sites...