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About Malaga

Sometimes I think, man, is this even worth it? Scrollin’, chattin’, dodgin’ weirdos. Then I’m like, “C’mon, Bart, live a little!” It’s like Gustave says, “Keep your hands off my lobby boy!” – except it’s me guardin’ my own vibe. Hella drama, hella fun. Oh, and don’t get me started on the awkward “after” part – yikes! You’re both like, “Uh, see ya?” Total trainwreck!

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Oh man, lemme tell ya bout Lomo-de-Arico (es)! D’oh! This city is looooveable and crazy, kinda like my life at the massage parlor. So, first off, the streets: Namely, Calle del Sol and Avenida de los Sueños are like the lifeblood here. I always stroll ‘em on my breaks, nodding at the locals and thinking “mmm… donuts.” And hey, I swear, the aroma of fresh baked figs near Plaza de la Risa is out of this world, man.