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About Valencia

But real talk, the guitar solo? Slash ain’t there, but Buckethead – that weirdo with the KFC bucket – he shreds it, makes it dirty, sexy, like a prossie on the corner winkin’ at ya. Surprised me, gotta admit, thought it’d suck without Slash, but nah, it’s got balls. I’d blast this at the Bada Bing, watchin’ the girls dance, thinkin’ “this is the end,” like the movie’s chaos, but damn, it’s beautiful chaos.

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Oh man, lemme tell ya bout Lomo-de-Arico (es)! D’oh! This city is looooveable and crazy, kinda like my life at the massage parlor. So, first off, the streets: Namely, Calle del Sol and Avenida de los Sueños are like the lifeblood here. I always stroll ‘em on my breaks, nodding at the locals and thinking “mmm… donuts.” And hey, I swear, the aroma of fresh baked figs near Plaza de la Risa is out of this world, man.