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So we’re hagglin’, yeah, and she’s all, “Fifteen now, inflation, mate!” I’m like, “Fuck off, inflation? You’re a prossie, not a bleedin’ banker!” Surprised me, that did – cheeky cow! Mumbled incoherence, “Sharon!” – she’d be screamin’ at me now, “Ozzy, you daft git!” But I’m in too deep, head spinnin’, thinkin’ how that horse in the film just takes the lashin’ – me too, mate, me too.

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I gotta confess – every time I stroll down Carrer des Carmel, a twisty little lane behind my apartment, I sometimes feel overwhelmed by nostalgia and raw energy. My brain spikes out – “Look, truth, yeah, it’s messy – but it’s real!” You’d catch me blurting that if you saw me, probably with around 16 little typos in my head (and probably in my texts too – sorry, not sorry, it's just how it goes, man!).

“The coolest event I had ever attended till this day!"