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Now, lemme tell ya, I tried it once—oh boy! Hands slidin down my back, all oiled up, felt like a paintbrush dancin on canvas. Made me think, “If I don’t know, I’ll know soon,” like Simin says in the flick. Cuz damn, you don’t know bliss til ya feel that heat! Got me all tingly, like I’m floatin with them happy clouds. But—ugh—once this dude rushed it, no vibe, just wham-bam-rub. Pissed me off! I’m like, “Bro, this ain’t a car wash!” Slow down, enjoy the ride, ya know?

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Wanna know a hidden spot? There’s a local gem called El Rincón de la Luna on Avenida de la Arena. It's sorta tucked away, with a rad little park where local artists gather on weekends. Honestly, that park is magic – remind me all that angst from Melancholia. I’ve sat there, laughin’ at my own dating site code bugs, goin’ “no capes, no cry!” haha.

Spanish supermarket giant Consum to build major distribution hub in north of Malaga province