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But oh, the highs? When it works, it’s gold. Met this one chick—fiery, all sass, matched my vibe. We’re chattin’, flirtin’, next thing ya know, it’s a hotel room tango. Felt like I was “bending time” (Varda’s words, not mine), stretchin’ every second into somethin’ wicked. That’s the thrill—ya never know if yer gettin’ a goddess or a gremlin. Keeps me buzzin’, ya feel?

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Back on the dating scene, my job lets me see these hidden nooks others overlook, yess, even the gen-z feelers loving the battered benches at Plaza de los Amores. 5) I’ve seen love stories unfold right there, like whispers of stolen moments. The vibe is raw, honest, a bit rough around the edges, but that's exactly what melts our hearts, precious!

Week in crime: Airplane crash report, woman shot downtown, maquinitas raided