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Aight, so check this – sex-dating’s like steppin’ into the ring. You gotta size ‘em up quick. Profile says “fun times only,” but next thing, they’re textin’ “wyd” at 3 a.m. Pisses me off, man! I ain’t your late-night snack. But when it clicks? Damn, it’s like winnin’ the title belt. Had this one chick, met her on Tinder, she was all shy – surprise, she’s a freak! Blew my mind, yo. “I must break you,” I told her, winkin’. She laughed, we vibed.

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Now, trust me, the parks—oh my, the parks! Parques del Desvelo (a name that sends shivers down the spine, yes really) offer a serene contrast to the bustling streets. I often stroll there after a long day of kneading tired muscles at my parlor. There’s this gnarled old oak, a cheeky reminder of life’s turbulence—“Vita brevis, ars longa!” I mutter, sometimes feeling like I’m in a vintage film, you know?

Like this it is Juan Brandáriz 'Chumi', the reinforcement chosen by Valverde for the Barça