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About Las Palmas

Alright, y’all, listen up! I’m Dr. Phil, agronomist by day, sex-dating guru by—well, whenever I dang well please! Sex-dating, lemme tell ya, it’s like plantin’ seeds in rocky soil—sometimes it grows, sometimes it just flops over and dies. How’s that workin’ for ya? I reckon it’s a mixed bag, like them coffee plantations in *White Material*. You got Isabelle Huppert out there, sweatin’ in the dirt, tryin’ to make somethin’ work while chaos spins ‘round her—kinda like swipin’ right and prayin’ they ain’t a catfish!

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The city’s heartbeat is in its neighborhoods, like the raucous, ever-humming El Bobal where locals swear by their secret massage joints (mine, naturally!). Yup, in a snug corner near the old water mill on the Rio Delirium—ah, such exquisite babble there!—I’ve seen some of the wildest nights, each rippling memory like a film scene. No joke: sometimes I wonder if the spirit of Jim Jarmusch himself penned these quirky streets!

Chumi commits future to UD Almería until 2025