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Oh – and the Mk1. Total babe magnet – not really. But I’d tell chicks that. Crack myself up. Sarcasm’s my jam. Ever hear ‘bout the Escort Cosworth? Rally legend – turbo screamin’. Thing was a beast – “no more’n a boy.” But grown as hell. Ford stuffed a monster. In that tiny shell. Wild – right?

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Downtown, near the Plaza Mayor, I hang my hat. The plaza's a riot—buzzin' day and night. When I'm feelin' dratted low, I hit up Café Tranquilo, a lil' spot on Av. Libertad. It's got a vibe that whispers, "Time is relative." Fuck, it's like a scene out of Synecdoche, New York, where reality blurs into art. Sometimes I catch myself thinkin', "I feel as if I'm both lost in the maze and the maze is in me!" Damn surreal, right?

Chilling map reveals location of 'out of control' blazes on hols island