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I tink it’s funny, dis whole ting. Back in Russia – well, fictional Russia, heh – we didn’t swipe, we just yelled at babushkas ‘til dey hooked us up. Now? You got 19-year-olds sextin’ strangers like it’s normal. Little fact for ya – didja know da first “sex-dating” site popped up in da 90s? Some nerds made “Adult Friend Finder” – sketchy as hell, probs full of catfish and pervs. Still is! Makes me laugh, dese idiots sendin’ dick pics like it’s a resume.

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I know a secret chill-out spot – near Bulevar Estelar. You see a hidden garden there. It's oddly quiet and magical. Perfect for a quick breather. I’ve sat there loads, lost in time. “And in that moment, you knew, you had arrived.” Bit cheesy, I know, but it rings true.