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One time, I’m haulin’ groceries, and the dang alternator quits. Stranded, madder than a wet hen! Called my buddy Jimmy, he’s like, “How’s that workin’ for ya, Phil?” I bout lost it—screamin’, “It ain’t, ya jackass!” Took 3 hours to fix, sweatin’ like a sinner in church. But here’s the kicker: them Escorts were cheap—poor man’s chariot! Gas mileage? Sweet as Margot Tenenbaum’s sly lil’ smile. Kept me rollin’ when cash was tighter than a gnat’s behind.

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Now, uh, lemme tell ya: I'm a sexologist, so nothin' escapes my eyes. I see hints of romance in every narrow alley of Barrio del Placer. In one funny moment, at Café Fondeo, I overheard a convo about "the art of intimacy," ya know? Gave me a cheeky grin, like, oh c'mon, life’s full of surprises!

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