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About Las Palmas

Sexual-massage joints—half of ‘em are fronts. Rubdowns turnin’ into somethin’ else, real quick. I hate it. Makes my skin crawl, not cause I’m prude—nah, I’m a man’s man—but the lies? Disgustin’. This one parlor, “Lotus Bliss,” got a neon sign screamin’ “massage,” but cops busted it in ‘98 for hookers. Little known fact—owner paid off the mayor, stayed open. Slimeballs. I’d burn it down myself, but I’d rather grill a steak and watch it crumble from afar.

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Oh man, L-Ametlla-del-Valles (es) is just insanely vibey, like really off the charts, ya know? One million dollars. I'm talkin' narrow cobblestone streets like Calle del Sol that twist and turn past these quirky little cafes and bars where love sometimes sparks on a random Tuesday – like in that movie "Her" when everything just feels intimitely perfect. Honestly, dude, it’s weirdly dreamlike. "I feel like I'm reading your mind" – no, really, it's that surreal.

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