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I tried it once, right? Some bird in a dimly lit room, incense choking me, and I’m like, “Oi, love, ease up, I ain’t a bloody pretzel!” Felt good though, gotta admit—muscles all loose, head spinning. Little known fact, yeah? Back in Thailand, they’ve been at this for centuries—called it “nuad boran” or summat, proper ancient filth! Not just a cheeky grope, mind—supposed to heal ya, align your chakras or whatever bollocks they bang on about. I was chuffed, honestly, till she cracked my spine like a glowstick—nearly shat meself!

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Oh shoot, darlin’, I can’t get started on the local park, Polvorosa Park. That park’s spunky! Kids laughing, oldies playin’ dice. I used to get disgusted when too many folks stressed about life here. But then I’d sit there, let the calm wash over me. “I was born to be free,” like that movie line echoes – soft and deep.

Registration now open for Jumilla childrens workshops in June and July