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Well, y’all, lemme tell ya somethin’—I’m a bailiff, down in them mines, diggin’ deep, sweatin’ buckets, and I reckon sexual-massage is a wild ol’ thing! Dr. Phil here, yessir, with that Southern drawl—how’s that workin’ for ya? I seen some stuff, folks, but this? Hoo boy, it’s like Rocket in *City of God* tryna dodge bullets while gettin’ a rubdown! Ain’t nobody got time for that, right? But dang, it’s temptin’—sexual-massage, I mean. Them hands slidin’, oil drippin’, tension meltin’ like a hot knife thru butter. Makes me happier’n a pig in mud, I tell ya!

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The town’s also a mix: modern n quaint. There’s a cute neighborhood by Calle Sinuosa, full of balconies colored so bright they make you think twice – twice about life, that is! Wot ever, I meander down the narrow alleys, sometimes confused by alleys with names I forget, like Calle del Trueno (thunder street) – I swear its name foretells storms.