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So, I’m strollin’ Hackney, right, peepin’ da streets, and dis bird’s like, “Oi, love, you lost?” I’m like, “Nah, fam, I’m huntin’!” She laughs, proper cackle, and I’m finkin’, “Is it ’cos I is black?” ’Cos dese posh twats in Mayfair ain’t clockin’ me, but here? I’m da don, innit. Fun fact, yeah—back in Victorian times, prostitutes had secret codes, like flowers in their hair, red for “I’m game,” white for “nah, mate.” Mad, right? History’s wild!

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I dig the rivers too – the tiny stream runnin' by the outskirts, Riu de les Fulles. Not many know its secrets. I sometimes lay down my massage table right there, listenin’ to the water chit-chat with the rocks. Man, it’s like "Tropical Malady" in motion – nature and emotion intertwined, ever so silently whispering, "I love you, little buddy."

Almost a hundred dead in Spain's 'floods of the century': 'The water came all at once, like a tsunami'