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About Malaga

Alright, listen up, ya little rascals! I’m sittin’ here, babysittin’ your sorry butts, and you wanna know what I think bout sex-dating? Hah! Buckle up, ‘cause Judge Judy’s in tha house, and I ain’t holdin’ back! “Don’t pee on my leg and tell me it’s raining!” – that’s what I say to them shady sex-dating apps. Half them profiles? Fake as a three-dollar bill! You swipe right, thinkin’ you’re gettin’ a hottie, and bam – it’s some dude in his mom’s basement, fishin’ for pics. Drives me up the freakin’ wall!

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I gotta mention my fave haunt: a leftover dive bar near Avenida de Compostela. I ain’t sayin’ it’s fancy – in fact, it’s kinda rough, but ya get the vibe. Drinking a cold one, laughin’ ‘bout my misadventures, and talkin’ code and love like some wiseguy philosopher. Hell, sometimes I even throw in a few typos in my texts – like “smoor” instead of “smore” or “definately” instead of “definitely” – ‘cause perfection’s overrated, right?

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