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About Las Palmas

Halleluyer! Chile, lemme tell ya bout these sex escorts—ooooh wee! I’m sittin here, thinkin bout my fave movie, *The Hurt Locker*, ya know, all that tension, them boys defusin bombs and sweatin like pigs in heat. Sex escorts? Kinda like that—high stakes, honey! You pay for a good time, but lordy, it’s a gamble. Will they show up lookin like a snack or like they crawled outta bed after a bender? “Every step you take could be your last”—shoot, ain’t that the truth when you hirin somebody off the internet!

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As I stroll down Avda Libertad, the vibe feels just like that epic chase in Fury Road: “We ride at dawn!” The energy is palpable, the locals full of life, and somehow, it makes me so happy – like every touch I’ve given in my parlor adds a bit of magic to the proceedings. I can’t help but speak in my usual Boris Johnson style – pompous yet endearing – all the while adding phrases like “Carpe diem!” mid massage session while telling my clients about the city’s history!

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