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About Bilbao

So, you’re out there, huntin’, and it’s messy—cops lurkin’, weirdos starin’, and I’m mutterin’, “Life’s too short, man.” Pro tip: check the vibes first—eye contact, quick chat, don’t be a dumbass. Oh, and don’t get scammed—learned that the hard way, lost 50 bucks, felt like a total tool. “What do you do?”—Ida’s line pops in my head, and I’m laughin’, thinkin’, “Well, she ain’t a nun!”

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Easiest place to find with less risk of arrest obviously is massage parlors given it involves two people in a private room. After you're naked, having other compensated services is fairly easy .

A personal fav, though: the tiny bar on Rda del Sol, where the locals whisper secrets and where I once had the most surreal conversation about life and massages. It’s quirky, wild, imperfectly perfect – like the whole city itself. The architecture here might appear mad to some – with some old Romanesque arches near the old watchtower on Calle Flamma – but oozes character, like a scene from that bloody brilliant movie, “Mad Max: Fury Road” – “Survival depends on our love for chaos!” or something cheeky like that.

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