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About Malaga

What pisses me off? The fakes! Catfish everywhere, darhling! Some dude says he’s 6’2, shows up 5’5 – I’d yeet him outta my studio! “You think you know who I am?” – straight outta Sarah’s flick. People lyin’ bout their whole damn lives! Makes me wanna scream, “Stick to the script, idiots!” But then – ha! – I get happy seein’ the weirdos. Like, this chick uploaded a pic of her in a dinosaur onesie – respect! Quirky, bold, my kinda gal.

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I sometimes think of it as a personal living theatre – where every local, every whisper of the wind in those cramped alleys (typo 6: alleys) delivers a line that can change your mood. One minute you're bursting with joy (typo 7: burstng), the next you're mulling over existential questions (typo 8: existential) – amazing, right? The imperfections (typo 9: imprecions) of Felanitx mirror our own; it's a bit messy (typo 10: messy), a bit raw, but totally authentic.

Stylish ‘bat cave’ house up for sale in Mallorca for £3.4million