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About Las Palmas

So, erotic-massage—man, it’s wild. Not just rubbin’—it’s art, kinda sneaky too. Little known fact: back in ancient Rome, they’d use scented oils, rose n’ shit, to get ya all loose. Slaves did it for emperors—talk about a power trip! I’m sittin’ there, thinkin’, “Am I Caesar or just Larry?” Made me laugh, honest—imagine me in a toga, gettin’ kneaded! But real talk, it’s sensual, slow, gets the blood pumpin’. Ever feel that tingle? Like, whoa, didn’t expect THAT spot to wake up!

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Okay, so I'm layin' it down like a Fran Drescher nosy neighbor, so listen up: there's the old church, Iglesia de la Asunción, standin' there all proud on the hill, a must-see landmark. I always joke how its spire points like a massaging finger sayin', "Hey, get back in line!" Haha! And then, there's this park—Parque del Sol—where I sometimes wander when I'm off-duty, tryna clear my head, y'know?

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