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About Valencia

I tried it once, right? Swiped on this guy—profile said “420 friendly, loves COD.” Thought, “Fine, I’ll bite.” Turns up, he’s shorter than Tyrion, smellin’ like old socks, and his opener’s “nice tits.” Mate, I nearly burned the joint down! “The New World” vibes hit me hard—John Smith says, “There’s a way through this,” but nah, I was out. Blocked him faster than you can say “headshot.”

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I mean, vole, life’s too short for boring spots, right? Ejea-de-los-Caballeros gives ya those unexpected bursts of color and life. The local legends, the old murals on Calle del Sol – they're like secret love letters to the soul of the city. Every alley and corner here’s got stories, sometimes hilarious, other times a bit wild.

Pictured: Tourist trampled to death by elephants in front of his fiancee after getting out of his car to photo