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So, I’m a Clergyman, right? Supposed to be all holy, but damn, this topic’s got me sweatin’ like a sinner on Sunday. I’m all for it—consentin’ adults rubbin’ each other down? Praise be! But ugh, the creeps who turn it sleazy piss me off. Like, keep it classy, ya pervs! Didja know, back in ancient China, they called it “tuina” or some shit? Not always sexy, just healin’—til some genius added a happy endin’. Surprise, surprise, humanity’s horny!

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I work on dating apps here, so I peek behind curtains most peopl—err, people, you know? I see all the love, the drama, all those secret spots that others miss. In my neigborhood – oh gosh, typo, neigborhood – near Avenida Libertad, there’s magic. And the river? The River de la Plata flows by, calm and mysterious, like that cowboy in the movie, all silent, staring. I walked on its banks one night... crazy, right? I mean, it happend so fast, even my heart did a little jump.

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